[ . . . it feels a little weird to ask, given everything, but at the same time - buzen can't help but feel the urge:]
Is it okay - if I hug you, Setsu-san?
[because buzen can see it. the little ways in which a person is cracking and yet so certainly trying to hold it together, whether by duty or by default. sometimes all you can do is keep going.
but it doesn't change the ways in which it hurts.]
Eh? [ their eye blinks open, looking up at him. it's not.. necessarily something they're used to being asked, admittedly. though, to begin with, they hadn't been used to physical contact since before coming here.
but... there really is no worry about Buzen's intentions. which is probably why they don't need to think too deeply about it. they nod after a moment. ]
[he nods then - and will move to give them a hug. it's not touch week but every week is touch week until buzen dies! so next week.
anyway it's a warm embrace, a kind one. he really does give such good hugs. but this one feels particularly protective, like he wants to shield them from everything they've had to endure so far. from everything they will endure in the future. he's careful, just in case they still have injuries from thursday but.
sometimes touch is the only way to really get something across for a sword.]
Let yourself be supported too. I know it's probably weird for me to say, after everything... but I think that even knowing something is going to hurt doesn't make it any better.
It's good that you're grounded in reality - but you deserve to have something warm for yourself too, now and then.
their body tenses a little, another tell of how unused they are to something like this. but, they relax slightly, hands careful as they return the embrace. they appreciate how careful he is, since.. yeah, still dealing with some of those injuries here. however, they don't let it show. ]
..It's what I've become accustomed to back in my world. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. [ something warm for themselves... ] ...If I do that, I might get too used to it. And if I do, that'll only make it hurt more when I no longer have it.
[ back home, to what awaits them. but isn't that what they've been slowly doing..? letting themselves enjoy a bit of the company that is here, to get close to some of them, to begin forging some kind of connection? ] I do appreciate your kind words though, Buzen.
.... it's not like I don't get it. [he'll admit that softly even as he continues to just hold setsu in this hug] We don't get to interact with humans very much. If I get to go back home, then I'll probably have to go back to hiding who I am. I'm not used to having real friends for this long.
It'll probably sting... but I hope you still open your heart to the chance. To let yourself feel that warmth while we're all still here. Nothing's meant to last forever - so isn't it okay, to breathe in these moments we do get to have?
...Because of your duty? [ they know from Matsui that as swords, their duty was to protect humanity. was that why they aren't used to having friends? they listen to his words, growing quiet again. ]
... [ their heart drops a little at that. they try to shake away that distant loneliness, not wanting to shed any tears over the thought. a thought they've long grown used to. it would be nice to enjoy these moments. even if the others may not remember in the end... they can at least keep the memories close. ] I can try and cherish these moments while they last.
Mm-hmm. Even as long as I've lived... I know there is rarely anything that lasts forever.
[so he'll just rub their back in slow, reassuring circles as he holds them close.]
But even then... it doesn't change that it mattered to us now, that these memories are proof of the time that we have together. That we got to live and die, holding onto what and who we cherish.
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Is it okay - if I hug you, Setsu-san?
[because buzen can see it. the little ways in which a person is cracking and yet so certainly trying to hold it together, whether by duty or by default. sometimes all you can do is keep going.
but it doesn't change the ways in which it hurts.]
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but... there really is no worry about Buzen's intentions. which is probably why they don't need to think too deeply about it. they nod after a moment. ]
Sure, if you want to...
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anyway it's a warm embrace, a kind one. he really does give such good hugs. but this one feels particularly protective, like he wants to shield them from everything they've had to endure so far. from everything they will endure in the future. he's careful, just in case they still have injuries from thursday but.
sometimes touch is the only way to really get something across for a sword.]
Let yourself be supported too. I know it's probably weird for me to say, after everything... but I think that even knowing something is going to hurt doesn't make it any better.
It's good that you're grounded in reality - but you deserve to have something warm for yourself too, now and then.
no subject
their body tenses a little, another tell of how unused they are to something like this. but, they relax slightly, hands careful as they return the embrace. they appreciate how careful he is, since.. yeah, still dealing with some of those injuries here. however, they don't let it show. ]
..It's what I've become accustomed to back in my world. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. [ something warm for themselves... ] ...If I do that, I might get too used to it. And if I do, that'll only make it hurt more when I no longer have it.
[ back home, to what awaits them. but isn't that what they've been slowly doing..? letting themselves enjoy a bit of the company that is here, to get close to some of them, to begin forging some kind of connection? ] I do appreciate your kind words though, Buzen.
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It'll probably sting... but I hope you still open your heart to the chance. To let yourself feel that warmth while we're all still here. Nothing's meant to last forever - so isn't it okay, to breathe in these moments we do get to have?
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... [ their heart drops a little at that. they try to shake away that distant loneliness, not wanting to shed any tears over the thought. a thought they've long grown used to. it would be nice to enjoy these moments. even if the others may not remember in the end... they can at least keep the memories close. ] I can try and cherish these moments while they last.
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[so he'll just rub their back in slow, reassuring circles as he holds them close.]
But even then... it doesn't change that it mattered to us now, that these memories are proof of the time that we have together. That we got to live and die, holding onto what and who we cherish.