★ ( HOMOPHONIC: JONAS )

[propense]

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[westedge]

[ confidence week means they get a surprisingly charming grin from him. ]

Is it weird if I say I was glad it was me? [ because he thinks he'd rather it be with someone they trust not to make this weird. someone who can make this not a big deal. the rest he lets drop off, because that's really the main point here. ]

[propense]

[ wahhh, cute. he gets a warm look from them, emitting a soft laugh. ]

No, I don't think it's weird. Because I'm also glad it was you. [ which is said geuninely. so it's only weird if he thinks it's weird? ] Even though you had to deal with my inexperience.

[ even with confidence week, they know full well how inexperienced they are with this kind of thing. ]

[westedge]

[ he sort of shrugs at that. ]

Everybody has to start somewhere. And besides, I don't mind that either. It was just a kiss. Even if it wasn't as "experienced" as other people might make them out to be I don't think it has to be anyway.

[propense]

Even though you said it "could've been a better first kiss."

[ this could be a tease. or a joke. either way, they've recollected themselves, just smiling at him with a curious look. ]

[westedge]

Yeah, I meant from me to you. [ duh. but he returns the grin anyway. ] Kind of hard to call it a kiss when the other person stands there, but I guess it still counts in some ways.

[propense]

Because I surprised you? What if I didn't?

[westedge]

[ uh. hm. ]

I don't know. I think that's a more complicated question.

[propense]

Is it? How come?

[ just confidently asking whatever is on their mind now ig. ]

[westedge]

For one thing, I'd have to wonder why you were kissing me period, since the donut is what it is. [ wry. ] And another being...kisses can fuck stuff up.

[propense]

So outside the donut. [ da donut... ] Are you afraid that it will?

[westedge]

Not exactly. [ then? ] But...it's not really a thing you want, right?

[propense]

..? [ what. jonas, your words ] What's not?

[westedge]

[ . . . ]

Let's start over. Kissing somebody isn't really a thing you thought of before, like, fifteen minutes ago, right?

[propense]

[ new loop! ]

There are a lot of things I've never given much thought to before until I came here. Like that one week, with the touching. [ lightly, they take hold of his hand to raise it a little. as an example. ] But, yes, I haven't given any thought to just kissing anybody. And even now I have no thought or intention of going around kissing other people either.

[westedge]

[ allows the handhold of demonstration. ]

Okay. Not kissing other people is probably a good sign. So it's just me and it's just because of the donut, so that's probably why it wouldn't be a good idea to do it again even if it wasn't a surprise.

[propense]

[ It's okay, they won't hold it for long. they seem to think his words over and ] The sudden urge to do so seems to be related to the donut, yes.

[ thinkie, they probably would normally leave it at that but sometimes your confidence decides it's fine to just say ]

But I didn't mind kissing you, and admittedly that surprises me. I think for that it is more because I like my connection with you. It would have been very different were it anyone else.

[westedge]

[ that's fair and normal. ]

Well yeah. Usually you end up attracted to somebody you have a good connection with and when that happens you want to kiss them. Usually. But there are some pretty strong connections that don't always end up that way. Sometimes it's hard to know the difference.

[propense]

[ it's not normal, sometimes you just want to (redacted) and bury everything deep down!! though, they nod at his words. ]

..That makes sense. [ they said it once before but ] The feeling of wanting to open your heart to someone... I get that.

[westedge]

Yeah? [ that's good. he's never quite sure how people react to things like that. ] I don't think that part is bad. People should want to connect with other people even if it's the most terrifying thing in the world.

[propense]

[ a light nod, though... going back a little to earlier ] ...With someone I connect with, I wouldn't mind it-- even if I didn't think it would be something I may want. Because I've never really given much thought to it before coming here.

[ there is a "but" here. ]

[westedge]

[ ...there is a but, and he knows there's a but, and maybe he shouldn't fucking ask, but. ]

But...? [ prompting, just a little. ]

[propense]

[ they glance up at him, holding his gaze for a moment before down as he gingerly squeezes his hand and lets go. ]

...Even if something is there, I couldn't do that to someone. Given what I'm meant to go back to.

[ isn't that cruel? to open your heart to someone, and knowing eventually it's gonna go away anyways. ]

[westedge]

[ that is an extremely loaded question, thank you. ]

...it probably wouldn't be fair, no. But considering what you're going back to I also think maybe if something like that happened it isn't the worst thing to acknowledge it. I dunno. I go back and forth on acting on things and leaving them alone.

[propense]

[ you're welcome! ]

...It isn't the worst thing to acknowledge, no. [ probably not, anyways but. ] There is a lot of things to consider so, I understand. I think personally I don't have enough courage to.

[ confidence week has certainly had them saying more than they would in the first place even with their shyness on some matters but even that has its limits ]

[westedge]

That also makes sense. It's a pretty big deal to admit to something like that. Especially if you're not sure how the other person would react in the first place.

[ so. he would never push them to share things they aren't comfortable with. ]