That's what I figure. Better coverage, better alibi. But our plans should go perfectly fine. We've talked everything through as much as possible. [ which means less chances of slipping up. sure, yes, some things will go awry as they find out later, but for now a little optimism is okay.
he finds himself letting his face rest in their hand, eyes on them for a moment longer. ]
Alex and I were talking...a team trip to the hot springs maybe. When we get away with this and live past Saturday. Just to take time together and experience new stuff. There's...a lot all of us can learn from each other. I want to do that for as long as possible. [ he closes his eyes briefly. ] We'll be fine. I feel like...even if I can't believe in promises like that, coming from you it's a little easier.
[ i am so depressed that they have this soft ass moment before getting mcmurdered. this is going to haunt me the whole game. ]
We've covered all of the bases that we could think of. We have a pretty solid plan, all things considered. [ you know, that they're going out and killing someone but. there should be little to minor evidence linking back to them which means they could possibly skate by. still, Setsu is pretty confident over their plan and they would be even without the week effect.
their other hand joins to gingerly cup his face when he rests it in their hold, cradling him gently. their own gaze settled on him, watching... searching, but that fondness never leaves them. it's always been there. it's one of those moments where all they can focus on are what's most important and currently, that's Jonas here with them. ]
I did visit it once but, I think a trip with the team would be a lot more fun. A good way to take a break from everything. I want to be able to do that as long as possible as well. [ to relax after all that stress they know the whole group will go through. the adrenaline after a kill, the stress of investigations into learning who else has died, to getting through the trial as under the radar as they can be... they watch as he closes his eyes and gently brush a thumb over his cheek. a soft hum. after everything, they haven't cried once yet but, they can feel that prickling sensation in their eyes. ] ...I'm glad it's a little easier. I have to hope, but I think.. yes. We'll be fine.
[ and that's the truth of it. they really, really do believe they'll all be fine. ]
It does help we had an extra week to plan, technically. [ staying behind to be with their kazuki for his own good meant a little buffer to see how things played out, to give them more motivation and assurance. their evidence is very little, and they both seem to know that there will be more than one person dying tonight anyway. that's been the name of the game for a little while. and if it isn't...they'll do the best they can.
he doesn't mind this, staring into their eyes for a little bit like he's trying to understand what they're looking for. there's a confused, easy little smile but he doesn't pull away. ]
Then...let's take care of each other tonight. Alex and Kazuki can learn some of the details tomorrow and be on the lookout for anything that much screw us over. We're going to get out of this and we're going to be fine. [ he may just be saying this to reassure himself, too. ] I'll be with you every step of the way. I can promise that much.
I think we needed that extra week. But, with how things are, I don't think we can afford another. [ Even though three of them did come back from an excursion compared to just Kazuki last week. It's a bit of a mess. And they know emotionally, they are here and they aren't. They'll focus on the mission again and forget to take care of themselves. Until that happens, they want to reassure him everything will be fine. Everything will go as planned.
There are things they'd like to say, like to ask, but they don't voice it out loud. It's probably a bit too late to mention now. (No Redacted For Us) And, with everything, the timing of it all.. isn't probably for the best. Whether it's tied to their excursions or something else. So when he stares back, they only give him an apologetic smile. They wish they could say more. Instead, they just hold him here, close. As if it would help anchor them to the idea that, when the next day comes around, they'll both still be here. ...It's wishful thinking, and they know it. ]
And I'll be with you every step of the way as well. When it's over, we can take care of each other. ..I'm sorry that you have to be the one to do this with me, but.. I'm glad that it's you. I promise I'll try to end this as quickly as I can. [ Because talking about doing it and actually doing it.. it's different. one hand lowers, only to gently touch his chin and raise it a little. the corner of their eyes crinkles with the reassured smile on their lips. ] Just remember to keep your head up and don't stop moving forward.
[ smashcut to jonas nearly a week later living in a depression hole tbh.
anyway...he is aware they are right. they cannot afford another week, even if the circumstances this week are somehow even worse. but it's okay. it's fine. they will force this to work in their favor as best as they can. even with their minds scrambled and so many possibilities of things going wrong, they can try.
it's wishful thinking they'll all be okay tomorrow, but...maybe trying to be an optimist is okay. just this once.
he lets them tilt his head up, and the grin grows a tiny bit wider. ]
We would never let you do this alone. And...it's probably best it's me anyway. Don't apologize for that. We'll be in and out, easy. [ but...he takes a breath and nods to that. ] Forward is...a direction. We'll do our best to find what that is.
[ tbh yeah that... yeah. setsu too except it's dying in a depression hole.
at least that is neither here nor there. not as they see him grin a little wider, and they feel more assured that everything will be okay. they'll let go completely after, dropping their hands to loosely take one of his in theirs. just to offer one final squeeze. grounding them in the moment until they let go.
eventually, they'll have to head off to curfew, but at least when they do they'll feel better than they had earlier. it was... rocky, to say the least, however they knew they weren't going to give up until they said all they wanted to. to get them talking before it was too late. even if later they will have wished they spent a moment longer. even if later they would have wished they said more. ]
Whatever that is... if it's with you, I'll be glad. [ because they want both of them to be able to move forward after this. they linger close still, a free hand pushing some of their own hair back behind their ear now with no clips to hold them back. but it's fine. it's like a silent promise, to keep something of them. ] ...I know it doesn't fix everything that's happened earlier but. I hope it helps even a little.
[ he grips their hand back, not at all bothered. eventually they'll have to head off to curfew, and they'll have to wait and pretend they aren't getting ready to commit a murder. they'll have to pretend they aren't kind of scared out of their minds, but that they're going to follow through. they'll look back on this, later, thinking about things unsaid and things unresolved.
but for now... ]
It'll be with all of us. [ but the two of them especially. they're have to find a way forward, especially after so long in no man's land and now being in the unique position of having to murder simon. it's something the other two may not be able to fully relate to, and that isn't bad. it only means that jonas and setsu have their own understanding. ] It helps probably more than you think, so...don't think otherwise. Alright?
All of us. [ further confirmation. it's just a bit different because they'll be the one doing the erasing, even though Setsu has done erasure before. but it's obviously... different. because the Gnosia erasure compared to this one.. this one is a lot more involved. compared to a simple touch and erasing someone's existence.
however, long as Setsu sees Simon as an enemy, and they do, it can be done. they just don't really want to have Jonas carry the burden of killing someone even with what he's likely gone through on the excursion. too bad plans have something else for them both. ]
I won't think otherwise then. I promise. [ a little reassurance. some silence fills between them, but it isn't uncomfortable. until Setsu speaks again and their voice is soft. ] Are you gonna stay here a bit longer? If you still need some time to yourself, I understand.
[ he thinks about the question. mostly because he doesn't quite know, and he isn't entirely sure of what an answer would be. jonas is used to having time by himself in his worst, darkest moments. likewise, jonas is used to wanting company and just not having an option or trusting himself with it in those same moments.
it's a crapshoot even now because he knows his head is still very messy and he doesn't entirely know when his thoughts will settle down again. but setsu says "if you need time to yourself" and jonas thinks "i've spent 150 years without you guys." ]
...you can stay if you want. [ it's maybe a cop-out, but it's a true enough answer. ] I'll come home eventually but you don't have to leave if you don't want to. It's fine.
[ ...ah, Setsu can't really hide that relief that shows when they receive his answer, shoulders losing some of that tension again. while they would have respected his request to be alone, especially how rough their encounter and return was earlier.... ]
...Truthfully, I don't want to leave. [ I don't want to go. they would much rather stay here, because even now they don't want to be alone. they don't want to be left behind. which is ironic from them, considering everything they've done back in their universe, have tried to here... but to be stronger, they tell themselves to hide it. admitting it quietly in their low moments and feeling guilty when they do. though more than they don't want to be alone-- even more so, they don't want to leave Jonas alone. so his answer is enough. ]
So if it's fine, I'll stay with you then. We can head back together later.
[ he's quiet again, this time really looking them over carefully when they say that. he...knows, to an extent, that setsu doesn't want to be left behind. he's seen memories and has had enough conversations with them to know.
it's kind of why he feels like a dick for how he treated them in nml, but listen, that was a whole other animal. same with when they returned. now that things have calmed a little and he's more like himself, he can think more clearly. ]
...don't be afraid to say what you really want next time. [ it's not a mean suggestion. it's just light and quiet for them to reflect on. ] You shouldn't have to be forced into something just because you don't think you're allowed something better.
[ this is also hypocritical coming from him, but who cares. ]
We can hang out here a little longer and go back when we're ready. I don't mind that.
[ when he looks them over, they slightly look off to the side. as if they're quite aware they've become a bit of an open book to him by this point. it isn't a bad thing but. there's something guilting about being forward about what they want. ]
...I'll try not to be next time. [ they meet his gaze straight on after they say that. just to ensure they mean it. a hidden promise in their words. they've never really taken offense to his suggestions honestly. so, yeah, they'll reflect on it. ] That goes the same for you too, Jonas.
[ yeah. yeah. as much as they appreciate him looking out for them, they want him to consider the same for himself. ]
Then that's what we'll do. [ a glance a little past him... ] Back to your tree? Or is down here fine?
Good. [ good for them trying to be honest and upfront. not so good for him because he's still constantly trying to figure out what he wants, but it's okay. he can make an effort so long as they can. ] We'll do the best we can here.
[ he glances over his shoulder before offering a vague gesture. ]
You know. There are these cool things called park benches? We could probably find one of those since we're gonna stay down here.
[ after all, they may as well make the most of it while they can here. something about indulging in memories and in the moments while they still can. but, they seem a little reassured at least when he replies they'll both do their best. good. very good. overing... ]
Are there? It's the first time I've heard of these cool park benches... [ a joke, stifling a little chuckle. ] I'll have to follow your lead.
Hey. Being cool is an artform that must be respected. That's all I'm saying. [ he says, not at all really believe he's a cool guy but easily throwing up that front before throwing himself down on a bench. ]
It's an artform and a secret, yeah. You're lucky, I'm letting you in on it just this once. [ he is so full of shit. but he settles on the bench and pats the spot next to him. sit. break time. ]
And a secret? How lucky of me... you're so considerate, Jonas. [ he really fcken is. but they seem amused by it, still smiling as they sit beside him. nice lil break time... relief. ]
I won't forget it then. [ it's a brief moment of silence, but when he sighs do they lean against him. ]
...I feel as if your side may have gone through it worse. Since the beginning and throughout the whole trip, I was aware that it was an excursion, so I felt like I was a bit prepared going in but... there are effects after it all. [ and the bit of emotional torment from what they saw there. they glance down, their expression faltering. ] It's on and off, compared to the lack of.. bravery I had always the first time. This time I feel like myself sometimes, when other times I don't. As if... [ ... ]
[ a shake of their head. ] Admittedly, I'm not too sure which is better. But I'm okay otherwise. And.. I feel better now.
I mean...we were aware of it at first, too, but the longer we stayed the harder it got to remember. Eventually, our memories of this place had become less relevant. [ but he frowns at that. ] I don't think we got hit with effects. I don't like that you guys did. What do you mean you don't feel like yourself?
[ "how can i help" is the unspoken question. ]
I mean I'm glad you feel better. But these missions aren't good for anybody.
Mm... We didn't have all those years built up over it. [ which is why it feels like Jonas' group has gone through so much worse. to the point that everything here became less revelant? they're frowning deeply. ] ...I don't know. It feels like... I'm no longer human. That I only have one purpose and it's the mission-- whatever that ends up being.
[ just a weapon meant to complete their task. they stare off a bit distracted. ]
I was prepared for the rest of you to go on one, but I really didn't expect I'd be going on another one as well.
...hopefully that doesn't last long. It'll be like Kazuki's where it wears off after a few days. And until then, we'll just have to remind you that there's more to you than being a tool. [ he refuses to let this happen to them. until they die, apparently. ] It comes and goes? We'll figure out a way to make it less isolating for you.
[ he doesn't like!! ]
I was surprised you were on another mission, too. And I definitely didn't expect to run into you guys.
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he finds himself letting his face rest in their hand, eyes on them for a moment longer. ]
Alex and I were talking...a team trip to the hot springs maybe. When we get away with this and live past Saturday. Just to take time together and experience new stuff. There's...a lot all of us can learn from each other. I want to do that for as long as possible. [ he closes his eyes briefly. ] We'll be fine. I feel like...even if I can't believe in promises like that, coming from you it's a little easier.
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We've covered all of the bases that we could think of. We have a pretty solid plan, all things considered. [ you know, that they're going out and killing someone but. there should be little to minor evidence linking back to them which means they could possibly skate by. still, Setsu is pretty confident over their plan and they would be even without the week effect.
their other hand joins to gingerly cup his face when he rests it in their hold, cradling him gently. their own gaze settled on him, watching... searching, but that fondness never leaves them. it's always been there. it's one of those moments where all they can focus on are what's most important and currently, that's Jonas here with them. ]
I did visit it once but, I think a trip with the team would be a lot more fun. A good way to take a break from everything. I want to be able to do that as long as possible as well. [ to relax after all that stress they know the whole group will go through. the adrenaline after a kill, the stress of investigations into learning who else has died, to getting through the trial as under the radar as they can be... they watch as he closes his eyes and gently brush a thumb over his cheek. a soft hum. after everything, they haven't cried once yet but, they can feel that prickling sensation in their eyes. ] ...I'm glad it's a little easier. I have to hope, but I think.. yes. We'll be fine.
[ and that's the truth of it. they really, really do believe they'll all be fine. ]
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It does help we had an extra week to plan, technically. [ staying behind to be with their kazuki for his own good meant a little buffer to see how things played out, to give them more motivation and assurance. their evidence is very little, and they both seem to know that there will be more than one person dying tonight anyway. that's been the name of the game for a little while. and if it isn't...they'll do the best they can.
he doesn't mind this, staring into their eyes for a little bit like he's trying to understand what they're looking for. there's a confused, easy little smile but he doesn't pull away. ]
Then...let's take care of each other tonight. Alex and Kazuki can learn some of the details tomorrow and be on the lookout for anything that much screw us over. We're going to get out of this and we're going to be fine. [ he may just be saying this to reassure himself, too. ] I'll be with you every step of the way. I can promise that much.
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I think we needed that extra week. But, with how things are, I don't think we can afford another. [ Even though three of them did come back from an excursion compared to just Kazuki last week. It's a bit of a mess. And they know emotionally, they are here and they aren't. They'll focus on the mission again and forget to take care of themselves. Until that happens, they want to reassure him everything will be fine. Everything will go as planned.
There are things they'd like to say, like to ask, but they don't voice it out loud. It's probably a bit too late to mention now. (No Redacted For Us) And, with everything, the timing of it all.. isn't probably for the best. Whether it's tied to their excursions or something else. So when he stares back, they only give him an apologetic smile. They wish they could say more. Instead, they just hold him here, close. As if it would help anchor them to the idea that, when the next day comes around, they'll both still be here. ...It's wishful thinking, and they know it. ]
And I'll be with you every step of the way as well. When it's over, we can take care of each other. ..I'm sorry that you have to be the one to do this with me, but.. I'm glad that it's you. I promise I'll try to end this as quickly as I can. [ Because talking about doing it and actually doing it.. it's different. one hand lowers, only to gently touch his chin and raise it a little. the corner of their eyes crinkles with the reassured smile on their lips. ] Just remember to keep your head up and don't stop moving forward.
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anyway...he is aware they are right. they cannot afford another week, even if the circumstances this week are somehow even worse. but it's okay. it's fine. they will force this to work in their favor as best as they can. even with their minds scrambled and so many possibilities of things going wrong, they can try.
it's wishful thinking they'll all be okay tomorrow, but...maybe trying to be an optimist is okay. just this once.
he lets them tilt his head up, and the grin grows a tiny bit wider. ]
We would never let you do this alone. And...it's probably best it's me anyway. Don't apologize for that. We'll be in and out, easy. [ but...he takes a breath and nods to that. ] Forward is...a direction. We'll do our best to find what that is.
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at least that is neither here nor there. not as they see him grin a little wider, and they feel more assured that everything will be okay. they'll let go completely after, dropping their hands to loosely take one of his in theirs. just to offer one final squeeze. grounding them in the moment until they let go.
eventually, they'll have to head off to curfew, but at least when they do they'll feel better than they had earlier. it was... rocky, to say the least, however they knew they weren't going to give up until they said all they wanted to. to get them talking before it was too late. even if later they will have wished they spent a moment longer. even if later they would have wished they said more. ]
Whatever that is... if it's with you, I'll be glad. [ because they want both of them to be able to move forward after this. they linger close still, a free hand pushing some of their own hair back behind their ear now with no clips to hold them back. but it's fine. it's like a silent promise, to keep something of them. ] ...I know it doesn't fix everything that's happened earlier but. I hope it helps even a little.
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but for now... ]
It'll be with all of us. [ but the two of them especially. they're have to find a way forward, especially after so long in no man's land and now being in the unique position of having to murder simon. it's something the other two may not be able to fully relate to, and that isn't bad. it only means that jonas and setsu have their own understanding. ] It helps probably more than you think, so...don't think otherwise. Alright?
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however, long as Setsu sees Simon as an enemy, and they do, it can be done. they just don't really want to have Jonas carry the burden of killing someone even with what he's likely gone through on the excursion. too bad plans have something else for them both. ]
I won't think otherwise then. I promise. [ a little reassurance. some silence fills between them, but it isn't uncomfortable. until Setsu speaks again and their voice is soft. ] Are you gonna stay here a bit longer? If you still need some time to yourself, I understand.
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it's a crapshoot even now because he knows his head is still very messy and he doesn't entirely know when his thoughts will settle down again. but setsu says "if you need time to yourself" and jonas thinks "i've spent 150 years without you guys." ]
...you can stay if you want. [ it's maybe a cop-out, but it's a true enough answer. ] I'll come home eventually but you don't have to leave if you don't want to. It's fine.
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...Truthfully, I don't want to leave. [ I don't want to go. they would much rather stay here, because even now they don't want to be alone. they don't want to be left behind. which is ironic from them, considering everything they've done back in their universe, have tried to here... but to be stronger, they tell themselves to hide it. admitting it quietly in their low moments and feeling guilty when they do. though more than they don't want to be alone-- even more so, they don't want to leave Jonas alone. so his answer is enough. ]
So if it's fine, I'll stay with you then. We can head back together later.
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it's kind of why he feels like a dick for how he treated them in nml, but listen, that was a whole other animal. same with when they returned. now that things have calmed a little and he's more like himself, he can think more clearly. ]
...don't be afraid to say what you really want next time. [ it's not a mean suggestion. it's just light and quiet for them to reflect on. ] You shouldn't have to be forced into something just because you don't think you're allowed something better.
[ this is also hypocritical coming from him, but who cares. ]
We can hang out here a little longer and go back when we're ready. I don't mind that.
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...I'll try not to be next time. [ they meet his gaze straight on after they say that. just to ensure they mean it. a hidden promise in their words. they've never really taken offense to his suggestions honestly. so, yeah, they'll reflect on it. ] That goes the same for you too, Jonas.
[ yeah. yeah. as much as they appreciate him looking out for them, they want him to consider the same for himself. ]
Then that's what we'll do. [ a glance a little past him... ] Back to your tree? Or is down here fine?
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Good. [ good for them trying to be honest and upfront. not so good for him because he's still constantly trying to figure out what he wants, but it's okay. he can make an effort so long as they can. ] We'll do the best we can here.
[ he glances over his shoulder before offering a vague gesture. ]
You know. There are these cool things called park benches? We could probably find one of those since we're gonna stay down here.
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Are there? It's the first time I've heard of these cool park benches... [ a joke, stifling a little chuckle. ] I'll have to follow your lead.
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I guess I can lead just this once. [ and he gestures for them to follow. ] Don't get too excited though. Be real cool about it.
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I'll do my best to not be too excited. [ holds up a hand in mock-friendly promise. they will follow after him. ] Stay cool... Right.
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Hey. Being cool is an artform that must be respected. That's all I'm saying. [ he says, not at all really believe he's a cool guy but easily throwing up that front before throwing himself down on a bench. ]
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Is it an artform? This is the first I've heard of it. [ he can be cool 🥺.... help they watch him do that, lips twitching into an amused smile. ]
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...how're you feeling? I already know how badly our mission screwed us up, but yours was different.
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...I feel as if your side may have gone through it worse. Since the beginning and throughout the whole trip, I was aware that it was an excursion, so I felt like I was a bit prepared going in but... there are effects after it all. [ and the bit of emotional torment from what they saw there. they glance down, their expression faltering. ] It's on and off, compared to the lack of.. bravery I had always the first time. This time I feel like myself sometimes, when other times I don't. As if... [ ... ]
[ a shake of their head. ] Admittedly, I'm not too sure which is better. But I'm okay otherwise. And.. I feel better now.
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I mean...we were aware of it at first, too, but the longer we stayed the harder it got to remember. Eventually, our memories of this place had become less relevant. [ but he frowns at that. ] I don't think we got hit with effects. I don't like that you guys did. What do you mean you don't feel like yourself?
[ "how can i help" is the unspoken question. ]
I mean I'm glad you feel better. But these missions aren't good for anybody.
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[ just a weapon meant to complete their task. they stare off a bit distracted. ]
I was prepared for the rest of you to go on one, but I really didn't expect I'd be going on another one as well.
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[ he doesn't like!! ]
I was surprised you were on another mission, too. And I definitely didn't expect to run into you guys.
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