That sounds pretty confusing to know where you actually are and where they might be. I don't think I'd be able to keep up with something like that. [ he leaves the fishies alone and seems to be wandering to look around. ]
But at least it's always you and it's always them. And not like...different versions or something weird like that.
It does make it hard to keep track of but, anytime we sync our keys together it does let me know what loop they're on. [ so they can always find out if they wanted. if Jonas decides to inspect any of the rooms ahead or behind them.. he can, me with many rooms to share outside this lobby lounge. ]
Well... the only different versions would be if I happen to be Gnosia, if they happen to be Gnosia, or even with us both Gnosia. There are also various roles we could possibly have too on the human side. [ so, in a sense sorta... ] ...Ah, there's also the possibility of "Bug" as well.
[ he will in fact start to wander ahead just to explore, thinking setsu will follow. ]
Makes sense. It'd be a little harder if you couldn't ever figure it out at all. I remember you've said you had to do different things to complete your objectives, so that tracks, too. But...what exactly is "bug"?
[ Setsu will indeed follow close behind, but giving him the space to explore and look around. still more interested in what he sees and asks. but leaving the lobby lounge, they enter the coordidors with doors around them leading to different rooms. ]
Bug is... you could say they're a third party. They don't align themselves with humans despite being technically human but nor do they with Gnosia. [ briefly, they look at their own hand, trying to relive some of their memories. ] The Bug is a "cosmic mistake", a sort of glitch in the universe, that will end the universe if they survive until the end. So long as they're alive by the time one side is supposedly determined the winner... they win instead, and they destroy the universe entirely.
[ haha... ]
Gnosia can't kill them, but Engineers can by trying to analyze them. They harmlessly blip from existence when found by them. And there's also the cold sleep method. [ they look around them now, thinking back. ] ..I don't remember how many times I've watched the universe break and crumble around me, but I do remember them plenty.
[ he's walking, and both eyebrows sort of raise in surprise at the mention of the bug being a cosmic mistake. that. is pretty drastic, he thinks. he's walking though and seems to be poking around at different doors. he's looking for the sickbay to see how far it is from where they are, not realizing it's possibly on a whole other floor. it'd be easier if he said that, but no. ]
That...mostly sounds like somebody cheating. Like if you can just coast until one side wins and then decide you're the winner yourself without really doing anything just to destroy the universe--and actually, why do they want to destroy the universe? It's just programmed into them? If they can just be deleted or whatever by the Engineers. It sounds too easy for them to hide right under your nose.
[ actually, if it's the sickbay he's looking for, it's one of the nearest rooms to the lobby. so, if he's poking at a door closeby, it'll open and he'll come across this room. immediately, he'll see some medical capsules around, as well as cabinets filled with what looks to be medicine.
Setsu will pause behind him, looking to see if he'll go in. he really is lucky sickbay is actually on the middle deck that they're on help. ] Saying it's just programmed into them is probably the best way to put it. Whenever I was the Bug... it's similar to Gnosia, in that need to destroy humanity. Except, as Bug, it was the universe. I could feel it. Knowing I was going to.
[ they peer into the sickbay room. ] It's why it's the Engineer's job to try and find the Bug first and foremost. Bugs will lie and claim roles, which does tip Engineers off a little to start inspecting them.
[ imagine he'd just wander aimlessly instead. but no, he does open the door and just drift in silently to take a look out of curiosity. ]
So another situation where it was against your will and you were just a vessel for something bigger. [ he sounds pretty unhappy about that for whatever reason. ] The Bug doesn't know what roles anyone else already has, right? They just try to lie with everything they've got and escape someone calling them out. What happens if an Engineer is removed...? Can anybody else check on stuff?
[ hey, he could do that if he wants. Setsu will follow along either way. they don't mind him taking the lead to look around. the ship is available to him. ]
Essentially, yes... [ whether it's gnosia or bug, they become a vessel for it. they don't question why he seems unhappy about it.. they know it's a pretty messed up situation, though they watch him, curious. ] Most of the time, there's always one of most roles- on the human side, that is. Bug and Gnosia both are aware of when they can lie about being Doctor or Engineer.
[ they come over to one of the medical capsules, a distant look on their face as they carefully touch the edge of it. ] Since there's only one Engineer, once they're erased... or even wrongfully put into cold sleep, that's it. They're the only ones that can analyze people still around. But the Doctor, they can at least analyze those we put into cold sleep, to tell us whether they're human or Gnosia.
Guess that makes sense. [ it's still a fucked up sort of process, but he can understand that. ] I was just wondering if it was at all possible to pass on the roles once a person's gone or if you have one shot and that's that. It almost sounds like it's safer to be a normal person than have responsibility you have to guard and also dodge becoming a target.
It would be convenient if you could pass on a role. But no, once you lose that person with a role- it's gone for the rest of that loop. This makes some loops difficult when the person is someone that stands out too much that they get targeted right away.
[ they nod a little. ] There is a Guardian Angel role to help with that. They're capable of protecting one person per night against Gnosia attacks. The downside though is they cannot protect themselves, so. They need to lay low and not stand out for the Gnosia to target them.
[ he's contemplating over that before he sort of sighs again. ]
The whole thing sounds so complicated with a bunch of unwritten rules and roles you just have to go into blind and hope for the best. Having to do it over and over again in multiple loops...I can't really picture that.
[ he can't picture doing it without going crazy, mostly. ]
[ a quiet hum in response. ] It's definitely a lot to remember.
Mm... I remember the very first time, before the loops even began. I was... so lost. Uncertain of what to do... afraid. But, someone pointed out to me that I was part of the military, to take charge and...
[ Their gaze never leaves that medical capsule. it's very much empty, but they stare as if someone is there. ] I felt like I had to. No matter what came at me.
[ he follows their gaze eventually, looking as if he'll see whatever invisible anything is there. ]
...how long did it take you to really believe you could actually do it? I think there's a difference between knowing you have to do something and being able to do it for real.
[ sure, for funsies it can glitch for a moment, looking as if the capsule is actually closed with someone being seen inside through the small window. but it's only for a flicker of a second before it goes back to being empty and open. ]
...It took a while- going through some loops. Getting my bearings when I realized I was entrapped in them.
[ ok. well that is spooky and he immediately looks away, never mind! no flickering! it's all good!! but he listens to them and seems to mull it over. ]
Supposedly experience is the best teacher, so it sounds like that paid off. Even with the price of having to loop over and over again.
[ gootbai spook... they glance to him, before they start over to the door and pausing there. seeing if he wants to explore some other areas. sickbay isn't exactly the most pleasant of areas, they're sure. ]
It did eventually. I definitely got more confident. I was able to grow as a person too from the experience. [ a brief thought ] ...If you were to compare how I was before the loops began, to how I am now, I've changed a lot.
[ he gestures a little with his hand. yes. go ahead. show him somewhere else. he'll default to their lead or he truly will just wander into whatever the next open room is. ]
Then...maybe it's not all that bad. You're a pretty good person now, so if all of that brought you here...[ he shrugs. ] Growth doesn't always come the way we want it to. But maybe the results really are always the same.
[ well, there's a room straight across from the sickbay if he's wandering into the next one, which will be... the lab. microscopes and other tools can be used to examine the samples collected. there is also a hydroponic growing space in the back... which various plants can be seen to be growing here. ]
It doesn't always... Sometimes, growth comes from dire situations but, it can be worth it if we like the person we've become. [ and they do. they like the person they are now. ]
[ immediately he's going to be nosy and start checking out the microscopes, peering into the lens to see if there are samples or the like to be reviewed. he'll make his way toward the back slowly. ]
You ever think it might take longer to like that person? Like...the growth doesn't feel worth it until even more terrible situations happen on top of the already terrible ones.
[ he can peer into lens, there's general samples there but idk science though most of them are probably plant samples anyways. ]
...I think it could take longer. Though, depending on what kind of decisions were made because of that growth... [ they think about it ] ...Yes, it might take more terrible situations to eventually make it feel worth it.
But, I also think it depends on the person. [ quieter ] It... took me hundreds of loops to get to where I am now. And even then, I know there's still more room for improvement. That might not be the same for others though. [ someone else may feel they need to go through more to come close to it feeling worth the growth. ]
It almost feels unfair sometimes to think of it that way. Having to go through things that are shittier than others just to get a similar outcome. I know it's worth it in the end for some people, but it makes you wonder sometimes why it has to be that way.
[ which has always been something he's thought about on and off. why do some people have to struggle so much harder than others? ]
Some people might tap out after the first couple, you're right. But I feel like no matter how many you went through you'd always say you could improve. [ a gentle call-out. ] When do you think it'd ever be enough...?
I wish it didn't have to be that way, admittedly. Thinking that the only way someone can grow is by going through terrible situations.
[ in their case, they think it's fine... but that's because it's either they go through their situation or had died. better to go through something than nothing at all. but, for other people... ]
..Ah. If I was still back in my world, I'd say I've grown enough. But coming here... [ a quiet glance at him. ] It's a different environment. Different people. Connections I've made that I... want to protect. So.. I don't know. I want to save everyone, if I can. Until I can do that, maybe then.
[ with quiet amusement. ] A few have pointed out I could do less too, which is something I would have been able to learn to do if I didn't come here.
...I guess being here really does change the whole game, doesn't it. None of us would be the way we are now if we hadn't met everybody else and learned what else is out there. So many people still want to save everybody else, too. [ which isn't something he disagrees with either. ]
You really do need to try and do less. It's called avoiding burnout. But I also get that it's not always easy to unlearn the things you've spent so long doing, too.
[ the nod at that, agreeing with him on.. well, all of that really. being here really has opened up so much to a lot of people. Setsu in particular knows that to be the truth for themselves. ]
It's difficult to unlearn yes, but I've been learning to rely on you and everyone else more. Though, there's also the whole... I feel better being busy. It puts me at ease to be doing something than.. nothing. [ if they aren't at least doing a bit of work now and then, they're probably fidgeting. ]
I think I can get that. But I also think there are other things you can do to keep busy without putting so much of a strain on yourself. New hobbies, spending time with new people...it's stuff I'm still trying to figure out, too.
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But at least it's always you and it's always them. And not like...different versions or something weird like that.
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Well... the only different versions would be if I happen to be Gnosia, if they happen to be Gnosia, or even with us both Gnosia. There are also various roles we could possibly have too on the human side. [ so, in a sense sorta... ] ...Ah, there's also the possibility of "Bug" as well.
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Makes sense. It'd be a little harder if you couldn't ever figure it out at all. I remember you've said you had to do different things to complete your objectives, so that tracks, too. But...what exactly is "bug"?
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Bug is... you could say they're a third party. They don't align themselves with humans despite being technically human but nor do they with Gnosia. [ briefly, they look at their own hand, trying to relive some of their memories. ] The Bug is a "cosmic mistake", a sort of glitch in the universe, that will end the universe if they survive until the end. So long as they're alive by the time one side is supposedly determined the winner... they win instead, and they destroy the universe entirely.
[ haha... ]
Gnosia can't kill them, but Engineers can by trying to analyze them. They harmlessly blip from existence when found by them. And there's also the cold sleep method. [ they look around them now, thinking back. ] ..I don't remember how many times I've watched the universe break and crumble around me, but I do remember them plenty.
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That...mostly sounds like somebody cheating. Like if you can just coast until one side wins and then decide you're the winner yourself without really doing anything just to destroy the universe--and actually, why do they want to destroy the universe? It's just programmed into them? If they can just be deleted or whatever by the Engineers. It sounds too easy for them to hide right under your nose.
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Setsu will pause behind him, looking to see if he'll go in. he really is lucky sickbay is actually on the middle deck that they're on help. ] Saying it's just programmed into them is probably the best way to put it. Whenever I was the Bug... it's similar to Gnosia, in that need to destroy humanity. Except, as Bug, it was the universe. I could feel it. Knowing I was going to.
[ they peer into the sickbay room. ] It's why it's the Engineer's job to try and find the Bug first and foremost. Bugs will lie and claim roles, which does tip Engineers off a little to start inspecting them.
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So another situation where it was against your will and you were just a vessel for something bigger. [ he sounds pretty unhappy about that for whatever reason. ] The Bug doesn't know what roles anyone else already has, right? They just try to lie with everything they've got and escape someone calling them out. What happens if an Engineer is removed...? Can anybody else check on stuff?
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Essentially, yes... [ whether it's gnosia or bug, they become a vessel for it. they don't question why he seems unhappy about it.. they know it's a pretty messed up situation, though they watch him, curious. ] Most of the time, there's always one of most roles- on the human side, that is. Bug and Gnosia both are aware of when they can lie about being Doctor or Engineer.
[ they come over to one of the medical capsules, a distant look on their face as they carefully touch the edge of it. ] Since there's only one Engineer, once they're erased... or even wrongfully put into cold sleep, that's it. They're the only ones that can analyze people still around. But the Doctor, they can at least analyze those we put into cold sleep, to tell us whether they're human or Gnosia.
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[ they nod a little. ] There is a Guardian Angel role to help with that. They're capable of protecting one person per night against Gnosia attacks. The downside though is they cannot protect themselves, so. They need to lay low and not stand out for the Gnosia to target them.
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The whole thing sounds so complicated with a bunch of unwritten rules and roles you just have to go into blind and hope for the best. Having to do it over and over again in multiple loops...I can't really picture that.
[ he can't picture doing it without going crazy, mostly. ]
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Mm... I remember the very first time, before the loops even began. I was... so lost. Uncertain of what to do... afraid. But, someone pointed out to me that I was part of the military, to take charge and...
[ Their gaze never leaves that medical capsule. it's very much empty, but they stare as if someone is there. ] I felt like I had to. No matter what came at me.
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...how long did it take you to really believe you could actually do it? I think there's a difference between knowing you have to do something and being able to do it for real.
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...It took a while- going through some loops. Getting my bearings when I realized I was entrapped in them.
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Supposedly experience is the best teacher, so it sounds like that paid off. Even with the price of having to loop over and over again.
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It did eventually. I definitely got more confident. I was able to grow as a person too from the experience. [ a brief thought ] ...If you were to compare how I was before the loops began, to how I am now, I've changed a lot.
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Then...maybe it's not all that bad. You're a pretty good person now, so if all of that brought you here...[ he shrugs. ] Growth doesn't always come the way we want it to. But maybe the results really are always the same.
[ becoming stronger people. things like that. ]
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It doesn't always... Sometimes, growth comes from dire situations but, it can be worth it if we like the person we've become. [ and they do. they like the person they are now. ]
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You ever think it might take longer to like that person? Like...the growth doesn't feel worth it until even more terrible situations happen on top of the already terrible ones.
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...I think it could take longer. Though, depending on what kind of decisions were made because of that growth... [ they think about it ] ...Yes, it might take more terrible situations to eventually make it feel worth it.
But, I also think it depends on the person. [ quieter ] It... took me hundreds of loops to get to where I am now. And even then, I know there's still more room for improvement. That might not be the same for others though. [ someone else may feel they need to go through more to come close to it feeling worth the growth. ]
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[ which has always been something he's thought about on and off. why do some people have to struggle so much harder than others? ]
Some people might tap out after the first couple, you're right. But I feel like no matter how many you went through you'd always say you could improve. [ a gentle call-out. ] When do you think it'd ever be enough...?
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[ in their case, they think it's fine... but that's because it's either they go through their situation or had died. better to go through something than nothing at all. but, for other people... ]
..Ah. If I was still back in my world, I'd say I've grown enough. But coming here... [ a quiet glance at him. ] It's a different environment. Different people. Connections I've made that I... want to protect. So.. I don't know. I want to save everyone, if I can. Until I can do that, maybe then.
[ with quiet amusement. ] A few have pointed out I could do less too, which is something I would have been able to learn to do if I didn't come here.
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You really do need to try and do less. It's called avoiding burnout. But I also get that it's not always easy to unlearn the things you've spent so long doing, too.
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It's difficult to unlearn yes, but I've been learning to rely on you and everyone else more. Though, there's also the whole... I feel better being busy. It puts me at ease to be doing something than.. nothing. [ if they aren't at least doing a bit of work now and then, they're probably fidgeting. ]
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